50 Shades of Awesome? Not According to Some

There have been countless opinions on E.L. James’ 50 Shades of Grey. Some readers blush with embarrassment while others find it erotic and can’t put it down. Regardless of your personal stance, E.L. James is laughing her way to the bank. Her 3-part series has outsold Harry Potter and quickly became Britain’s fastest paperback to reach one million sales. Way to go, Mrs. James!

After hearing all the hype, I purchased the book myself to see what all the fuss was about. Sadly, I couldn’t make it past the 3rd chapter for fear I’d die of boredom. The storyline (in my opinion) was very weak and I found it to be poorly written. If I saw one more “holy cow” or “crap” phrase written in italics I was gonna scream. Then I wondered what was wrong with me. I mean, everyone else seemed to love it! After all, E.L. James isn’t rolling in the dough because everyone hated it, right? I went to Amazon to check out the reviews and was relieved to see I wasn’t the only one who thought it was lackluster. My favorite review came from Ebeth822:

Not the worst I’ve ever read… No, wait. It IS., March 6, 2012

Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)

I downloaded the book to my Kindle because it was on the best seller list and had 4 stars overall rating on Amazon. I wish I’d taken the time to read some of the reviews. As it turns out I agree with the negative.
I found myself thinking “Twilight, plus some spanking, minus the sparkly vampires.” Here, I’ll save you all some time (SPOILER ALERT):

Once upon a time…
I’m Ana. I’m clumsy and naive. I like books. I dig this guy. He couldn’t possibly like me. He’s rich. I wonder if he’s gay? His eyes are gray. Super gray. Intensely gray. Intense AND gray. Serious and gray. Super gray. Dark and gray. [insert 100+ other ways to say "gray eyes" here]
I blush. I gasp. He touches me “down there.” I gasp again. He gasps. We both gasp. I blush some more. I gasp some more. I refer to my genitals as “down there” a few more times. I blush some more. Sorry, I mean I “flush” some more. I bite my lip. He gasps a lot more. More gasping. More blushing/flushing. More lip biting. Still more gasping.
The end.

The bad:
It was an interesting concept – for a “romance” novel. However the story is weak, the pace is slow and awkward, the characters come through as more schizophrenic than complicated, the “romance” is a jeuvenile and dysfunctional crush, and the “erotic” scenes alternate between “Penthouse Forum” and something that sounds like it was written by a painfully shy and sheltered 13 year old. I have now read through some of the rave reviews and I have to assume that these were posted by people easily shocked and/or titillated. I can’t imagine what fans are comparing this to when they describe this as “good.”

The good:
Nice cover art.

Well said, EBeth! I also found this funny video on YouTube. Thanks, ladies!

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